Enjoy with your heart, but believe with your mind and keep your eyes open love was not intended to be blind and foolish. Let us enter the most important 9 questions you need to ask before you walk down the aisle.
1. What does marriage mean to you and your fiancé? Being a wife or husband is like being partners of a startup company. If both partners have different views of what this implies the marriage will never be managed effectively.
2. What does the union seem like to you and your fiancé? You are deep in love and have an image in your mind of what the marriage will look like 5, 10 and 25 plus years later on. Your fiancé also has expectation of what the marriage will look like and how it will function. These expectations may be quite different so get them apparent early on.
3. Why did you fall in love? You will need to always have this beautiful story to reflect on and help refocus your own feelings.
4. What is your purpose in the marriage? Getting married is much more about what you bring to the relationship than what you could get from it. There is a very particular set of reasons that make you the best person for your partner. You need to understand how being you and fulfilling your potential will add tremendous value to your spouse.
5. What’s the point of your spouse as a partner? No matter how well together you think you are, your partner also has value to add that will make you a better person.
6. Who are you as a unique person? Folks get lost in relationships because they lose sight of who they are. You need to take time to figure out who you are before trying to become one with someone else.
7. Who’s your fiancé as a different unique person? Aside from enjoying who you are as a special person you need to appreciate the uniqueness of your fiancé also.
8. What problems have you already noticed? Love isn’t blind; love sees the very best and minimises the worst. Love lets you know that the issues did not keep you from falling in love. You still need to acknowledge the issues and bring them into the light.
9. What are the expectations you have for your life? Frustration comes when expectations are not met. In marriage you’re most likely to blame your spouse when these aren’t met.
Taking time to answer these 9 simple questions may save you from the pitfalls that have wrecked many couples. Reduce the risk of divorce by spending more time on questions like these and less on questions about the color of bridesmaids dresses, menus and flowers.